Big Time Realization
by xChemicalxFallxPanicx
Summary: All the sideways glances, all the times the shorter boy licked his lips as his eyes showed a glimpse of the want and desire he was unconsciously feeling. All James wanted to do was to pull him down onto the bed and kiss him senseless. SLASH. JARLOS.


Author's Note: So, this is my first, and probably my last, Jarlos fic. It took me a week to write this, and it still feels...strange. Not that I don't like the pairing, cause I do. It just doesn't flow as easily as Kogan. But I hope you like it! Please R&R! And as you know flames help me make delicious treats like s'mores...so those are always welcomed too!

Disclaimer: I do not own BTR.

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Carlos patted his stomach happily as he slouched down onto the couch to watch whatever Fox show Katie had on. This was the only time the young girl could get away with watching it because Ms. Knight had an interview for some waitress position downtown. Carlos hadn't bothered to remember the name of the place the interview was being held; he was more focused on the dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets he had been served for lunch. He smiled softly at the memory of the noises James made while attacking his dinosaur.

His eyes traveled to the big screen watching as some guy in a wife beater with a mullet was shoved against the cop car. Katie was grinning from ear to ear as she screamed at the cops to use their tasers.

Carlos chuckled and moved to the bedroom he shared with James. He didn't notice the way Kendall sat at the table with Logan, holding his hand as he leaned over to whisper something in his ear, making the shorter boy blush bright red. He would have noticed this, and the fact that now on the TV screen was a shapely woman in a bra trying to pry the cops off her husband, if his eyes hadn't landed on a shirtless James in the doorway staring down at the bed.

For reasons unknown to Carlos, his stomach clenched and his skin burned. He stared as the lean muscles on James' back stretch as he bent down to pick up a shirt off the bed and hold it against himself. Carlos could feel his heart racing even as he shook his head and chuckled putting a hand on James' bare shoulder, confused on why it felt like a spark of electricity was running through him.

"What're you getting all dressed up for," Carlos asked, moving to sit on the bed, his eyes unconsciously running down James' abs.

"Jo asked me out," he smiled softly, picking up the other shirt and putting it against his chest, staring at himself in the mirror over the dresser. "Which do you like better?"

Carlos stared at him, suddenly feeling a surge of both anger and jealousy. He hadn't realized he liked Jo so much that it would piss him off to hear of her dating James. "You have a date with Jo? What the hell man!"

James looked at him confused. "What?"

"You're just gonna date Jo? What if I-"

"You never made a move on her! I thought you had a thing for Camille or something," he was shouting now, his hazel eyes a light with anger and concern over his best friend's hurt feelings.

"Well I don't! So, just call off your date with Jo!"

"What? No way!"

"Why not? It's not like you're in love with her!"

"That's what dating is for! To get to know people…fall for each other. You'd know that if you had ever been on a date, but I can see now why you haven't," James said harshly, his glare faltering slightly as the words met his own ears.

Carlos stared at him, his mouth slightly open in total shock. He had never been one to have low self-esteem, but hearing your best friend say they understand why you never got dates, made a guy question himself. Hundreds of questions ran through his head, mostly variations of just one core subject, was he really so horrible to be around that he repelled any sort of love interest away from him?

James' eyes widened slightly as he saw the hurt on Carlos' face. "Carlos…I didn't-"

He shook his head and stood, walking out of the room, ignoring the concerned stares he got from the other three inhabitants of the apartment.

James sighed and plopped down on the bed, putting his face in his hands. He knew he shouldn't have said that. He knew it was wrong as soon as the words reached his ears, but he couldn't stop himself. Carlos could just be so infuriating at times. James had seen all the times the other boy had inspected his body. All the sideways glances, all the times the shorter boy licked his lips as his eyes showed a glimpse of the want and desire he was unconsciously feeling. All James wanted to do was to pull him down onto the bed and kiss him senseless.

He shook the idea from his mind, he wasn't a complete idiot. No matter how bad Carlos' body desired him; James had a suspicion that the old fashioned beliefs passed down from his family would not let the Latino boy give in to temptation.

"I cannot believe you said that to him James," Logan's concerned voice cut in as he stomped to where the other boy was.

James looked up, watching Kendall wrap an arm around his boyfriend's waist and a pang of jealousy shot through him. Why did they have it so easy? "I know Logan," James sighed.

"I'm going to go find him," Kendall whispered, kissing Logan's hair softly and whispering to him, "keep an eye on James." He disappeared out of the room, running towards the exit to catch up with their Latin friend.

James stared at Logan before turning his gaze to the shirts he still had laying around, grabbing one at random and shoving it on.

Logan watched him and sighed, moving to sit on the opposite bed. "Why are you going on this date with Jo?"

"Because she's cool and I wanted this since the first moment I saw her," James whispered automatically, having already told himself the same thing over and over.

"But you're in love with Carlos," Logan whispered, his brown eyes watching James accusingly.

"Logan," James sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"James," Logan whispered, "Kendall and I can see it. Hell, even Katie can see it! Carlos is the only one oblivious to this. So, why are you doing this to yourself and to Jo? What if she really likes you, you'll only be hurting her by using her as a cover like this."

"She doesn't…I mean," he faltered, not sure how the girl felt about him. "I just want him to be jealous…I want him to demand I not only stay away from dating Jo, but from dating anyone else."

Logan nodded and moved to James' side, rubbing his back softly. "I know what you mean," he whispered. "Maybe you should take the lead, like I did with Kendall…at least in the beginning." He smiled softly.

"Wait, you started the whole…" James waved his arms around not sure of the right word.

"Courting process," Logan finished for him chuckling. "Yeah, I started it. Or at least put the idea in Kendall's head."

"What did you do? And why did I not notice any of this?"

Logan smiled. "Because it was too much like the way we already acted, only Kendall could notice the difference. I would put my hand on his thigh instead of his knee, or keep his gaze for longer than I would have before. I'd always stand closer to him than anyone else, and, when no one else was around, I'd run my fingers through his hair pretending to get a leaf or something else from it." He finished, a soft blush creeping over his cheeks, smiling at the memories.

"How long did it take Kendall to notice," James asked, enjoying the distraction Logan was providing, even though most of his mind was still focused on Carlos.

"Just two days," Logan whispered. "It was after the third time I had brushed my fingers through his hair, something in him just…snapped and he shoved me to the bed and well, here we are," he chuckled.

James chuckled and shook his head. "I don't think it'd be that easy with Carlos."

Logan smiled, "probably not. If you did it my way it'd take years."

He chuckled and shook his head. He opened his mouth to say something but his phone rang. He pulled it out, noticing Jo's number and frowning softly, but answering it as if nothing was wrong.

Kendall finally found Carlos on the roof of the Palm Woods. He was lying in the middle of the floor staring up at the sky above. He approached him and sat next to him, wrapping his arms around his knees as he looked up at the sky too.

"I don't want to talk right now Kendall," Carlos whispered watching as a cloud shaped like a helmet passed by.

"Then just listen," he said, keeping his eyes on the sky. "James…can be very stupid. He says things without thinking and he goes with his first impulse. You should know that better than anyone."

Carlos furrowed his brow, looking at Kendall confused.

Kendall kept his gaze on the clouds as he continued. "You two are more alike than you think. It's why you're so much closer to James than to me or Logan. James is always on your side. He always wants to try your crazy ideas, like when you thought it'd be a great idea to jump out of our window and into the pool." He smiled at the memory of Logan walking in and pulling both Carlos and James from the window and screaming at them like he was their mother.

"He likes planning parties with you," Kendall continued, "because you two share that idiotic desire to make people think you're the best out there." He turned his gaze to the shorter boy, seeing the soft smile on his lips. "My point is that James didn't mean what he said. He knows there's no reason you can't get a date, because there isn't. It's just; the girls here want two types of guys, the pretty boy, like James, or the smart awkward boy, like Logan. People don't automatically like guys like us. We have to worm our way into their hearts. Like I did with Logan," he grinned.

Carlos stared at him and whispered, "Logan's always liked you. You didn't have to sneak your way into his heart. He's liked you since the moment he met you."

Kendall stared at him in shock, not used to his friend being observant like this. "What?"

Carlos nodded and sat cross legged looking down at the floor. "When I met you guys, I could tell Logan loved you. His eyes dilated whenever he saw you. When you'd touch him in any way he would always blush. You didn't have to carve a place for yourself in his heart; there was always one there waiting for you to fill it."

Kendall stared at him in shock. "Okay, what have you done with Carlos?" He laughed and gently nudged him. "You're freaking me out."

Carlos laughed and shoved him back. "I'm not always an idiot you know?"

He nodded and smiled, "well, I think it's time you start looking at yourself like that. And figure out the real reason you're angry about James dating."

Carlos tilted his head confused and turned his gaze back out to the horizon.

James closed the door silently as he walked into the apartment. His date with Jo evolved into more of a hang out. Turned out that Jo had always known James had feelings for Carlos, she had asked him out to try and make him realize that. They had spent the better part of three hours shopping and eating ice cream. He smiled as he moved to his room with the two giant shopping bags.

"How many bandanas did you buy," Katie smirked as she watched James from the couch.

James grinned, "ten."

Katie shook her head, "dork."

"Bandanas are cool," James glared playfully, watching her laugh. He moved to his room again, noticing the other bed was empty. He silently prayed Carlos wasn't still upset with him as he put his bags on his bed and began putting everything away.

"Did you have fun," Carlos whispered softly from the doorway.

James' heart flipped and fell at the sound. He still sounded hurt and James hated himself even more for staying out so long. He should've been apologizing instead of distracting himself with sales. He turned to look at him, his eyes full of worry. "I'm sorry Carlos," he whispered, ignoring his question. "I never should've said that to you. It just…came out. I didn't even mean it. You're an amazing guy and anyone would be lucky to have you."

Carlos stared at him a slight blush appearing on his cheeks. He smiled and rubbed his neck awkwardly. "It's alright; I know you didn't mean it."

James smiled and fought back every urge he had to pull the shorter boy into a hug. He settled for patting his arm softly. "And it wasn't a date."

Carlos eyes lit up brightly and his body instinctively leaned a bit into the other's hand. "It wasn't?"

James smiled and shook his head. "She doesn't like me that way, she just wanted to hang out. You know… shop and have ice cream."

Carlos grinned happily. "That explains all the shopping bags." His eyes traveled down to the bags on the bed. "I've never met anyone who likes shopping as much as you."

James laughed and let his hand drop from Carlos' arm. He turned back to the bags and continued unpacking them.

Carlos silently moved to the bags, reaching in and pulling out a huge stack of bandanas. His gaze turned to James, raising an eyebrow. "Really?"

James blushed and took them form him quickly. "I like them."

"You have an addiction," Carlos grinned, leaning over and trying to grab them back from him.

James held them away and shook his head. "I do not!"

Carlos moved closer to him, only an inch separated them from each other. James could feel the heat radiating off of the shorter boy and it made his heart race, but he had to stay focused. Carlos didn't realize any of this, he didn't notice how the other's cheeks flushed or how his breathing quickened slightly. He reached up to the taller boy's arm pulling it down trying to get a hold of the bandanas.

James kept his arm extended, not wanting this closeness to end. He smiled softly as Carlos continued to try and pull his arm down, unconsciously getting closer. James, as discreetly as he could, leaned closer to him, his free hand moving to Carlos' chest, pretending to try and push him away. He could feel his heart beat quicken at his touch and smirked as he watched Carlos. The shorter boy was totally oblivious to the emotions running through him.

He was so close to the other; one centimeter from kissing his hair, one centimeter from pressing himself into him, and one centimeter from pushing Carlos onto the bed and claiming him.

"Ha!" Carlos grinned as he grabbed the bandanas, pulling them from James' loose grip. "Now, you can't have these back till you get rid of ten other ones," he smirked, moving to his side of the room and shoving them in the drawer with his underwear.

James blinked quickly and swallowed hard. His breathing was still fast and his heart still raced. "That's not fair," he whispered huskily.

Carlos grinned, not noticing the way James' eyes were darkened with lust. "Too bad," he smirked.

James watched as the other moved to lie on the bed. That's when he sprung. He tackled Carlos to the bed, the other gasping in shock and struggling as James straddled him. "Carlos," he said his voice still too deep to be normal.

Carlos stared up at him in shock, his hands held above his head by James. He opened his mouth, ready to demand he get off when Logan came in.

"Hey, do you guys want pizza or Chinese food," Logan asked, his eyes scanning over the two menus in his hands.

Kendall, however, stared at the two on the bed with wide eyes, his mouth open in shock but also a grin. "Uh, Logie, let's give them some time alone…I think they'll choose pizza anyway," he chuckled trying to push Logan out of the room.

Logan looked up at him confused and as his gaze landed on his two best friends he gasped, the door closing before he had time to say anything else.

James kept his gaze on Carlos for the entire exchange. He had him right where he wanted him. He leaned forward unconsciously, focusing only on what it would feel like to kiss him.

Carlos' eyes widened even further. "J-James?"

James froze, a quivered breath escaping him as his eyes roamed off of Carlos' mouth and up to his eyes. He looked scared. As if he thought James wouldn't stop even if he begged him. His heart fell at that look. Suddenly he felt sick to his stomach and quickly released him, getting off him and kneeling on the bed, staring at the sheets.

As soon as he was free Carlos jumped up and ran out of the room. His heart was racing and he felt like he couldn't breathe.

"Carlos," Kendall asked, moving to his friend. "You ok? You look pale..."

Carlos shook his head and walked out the door, his mind racing with what just took place.

James shivered as he stood under the shower. He was an idiot, he decided, to think that was a good opportunity to make a move on Carlos. He should've listened to Logan. He should've taken it slow, done subtle things to show him, but he hadn't been thinking with his head, at least not the right one, he had just gone with his urges.

There was a knock on the shower door, making James jump. "James," Logan called from the other side. "Are you ok?"

James chuckled bitterly and shut the shower off. Wrapping a towel around himself he opened the door and stared at Logan with red eyes. "I messed up."

"What happened," Logan asked moving to the side so James could move to dress.

Carlos sat by the pool, his eyes seeing nothing but a constant replay of the way James' eyes looked as he was leaning down to kiss him. He had never seen them so dark but he realized that he had seen that look before. Never directed to him, but he had seen it in Kendall's eyes when he looked at Logan. He'd even seen it in guitar dude's eyes when he looked at some pretty girl that was trying to get his attention. It was lust.

He swallowed the lump in his throat as his skin goose bumped at the feel of having that look directed at him. He finally saw the desire in James' eyes and the way his body had responded to being close to him.

"Hey Carlos, what're you doing here," Jo smiled, sitting on the lawn chair across from him.

"I was just thinking," he answered, smiling slightly.

"You seem freaked out…did you and James have a fight?"

Carlos furrowed his eyebrows confused. "What?"

"It's ok Carlos, I know you two are together. Don't worry; it was just a little fight I bet. James will come around. He really cares about you a lot so just go find him, kiss and make up." Jo smiled like she thought she was giving him the best advice in the world.

Carlos stared at her wide eyed and shot up, stalking back up to the apartment his hands clenched into fists, his knuckles turning white.

"You told her we were dating," Carlos screamed when he entered the apartment.

Kendall looked at him confused raising one of his trademark eyebrows. "What?"

Carlos ignored him and moved to the bedroom.

Logan jumped up, hearing Carlos approaching. "James run."

James glared and shook his head, standing up to face the shorter boy who stormed into the room. Logan looked between them in fear and opened his mouth but was quickly cut off.

"Logan. Out. Now," Carlos growled, waiting until the other was out of the room before he turned his attention back to James. "You told Jo I was your boyfriend?"

James glared. He hated being accused of something he had nothing to do with. And he hated even worse the way Carlos spat it like it would be the worst thing in the universe to be tied to him in a relationship. "I didn't."

"Oh yeah? Then why does she think I'm gay and with you?" He took a step closer invading the other's personal space as a challenge. Like two wild animals circling each other before they move for the kill.

"Because maybe she can see through you like everyone else can! Why don't you just accept it? I can see the way you look at me, I'm not a fucking idiot," James yelled, continuing to stand his ground, his hands in fists too.

"The way I look at you? What the hell? I don't look at you any different than I do anyone else! You're just imagining things because you have some big fat gay crush on me!"

James glared at him, his voice getting deeper but still loud, and said "I am not imagining anything Carlos."

Carlos' lip twitched up slightly in anger and he pulled his hand back and punched James square in the jaw. James winced in pain and glared at him, shoving him away from him, only to have his space invaded once again by the shorter boy. "Don't you dare make shit up now," Carlos growled.

James glared back at him. "I'm not Car-," he began, but another punch to his jaw cut him off. He could only take so much before he snapped. He swung at Carlos, his knuckles connecting to the shorter boy's cheek. Carlos retaliated with a punch to his gut, knocking the wind from James.

All he could focus on were the lies coming from James' mouth. He kept punching shoving until suddenly the world spun and he was on his back again, staring up at a very angry James. He was straddling him again, holding his wrists over his head and glaring. It gave Carlos time to catch his breath and stare at the damage he had inflicted on James' face. He winced seeing the red marks on his jaw and felt a strong urge to rise up and kiss away the pain.

"Carlos," James whispered, having been staring at the red mark he had left on the other's cheek.

Carlos turned his gaze up to stare at his eyes, seeing the hurt and self loathing seated at the front, but as he looked closer he saw the utter love and desire there, meant only for him. He gasped as he continued to stare having never thought that look would be directed to him.

James licked his lips, leaning down slowly and carefully not wanting to get hit again by the shorter boy. His eyes fluttered close as his lips met the other's, an instant fire burning through his entire body at the feel of his lips against his own.

Carlos blushed brightly, feeling the fire too and closed his eyes, hesitantly moving his lips with James. He could feel James smile into the kiss as he lifted up slightly to deepen it. James moved Carlos' wrists into one of his hands the other moving to rest softly on his hip, enjoying having control over the other. It was like capturing a wild animal and actually being allowed to touch it. His heart was racing and his body demanded to claim the boy underneath him, but he kept control. Carlos was letting him kiss him, this was a big step. James didn't want to screw this up.

"You know I always thought Carlos would top," Kendall smirked from the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest.

Carlos froze underneath James and stared up at him with wide eyes. He was hidden from the other two, and James smiled at him gently, kissing his cheek where he had punched him. "And I always thought Logan was too smart to end up with an idiot like you," James smirked, turning to glare at them happily, still hiding Carlos from their view.

Logan rolled his eyes and tugged on Kendall's hand, "let's give them some privacy." Kendall glared back at James but smiled as he followed Logan.

James turned back to look at Carlos, his fear at being rejected again clear in his eyes. "Sorry, I don't know what I was thinki-," he began but was cut off by a rough kiss.

"Kendall was right," Carlos whispered as his kiss moved to the red marks he had left on James' face. "I am top."

James chuckled happily, "well from here it looks like you're mistaken."

Carlos grinned, pulling his wrists free and grabbing James' hips, flipping them both over so he was now on top. "What was that?"

James laughed happily and wrapped his arms happily around Carlos' neck, pulling him closer. "I should've known I needed to fight you to get you to kiss me."

Carlos smiled, "I just needed the truth knocked into me a few times." He leaned down, capturing his lips in a kiss.

"I will never understand teenage dating rituals," Katie sighed rolling her eyes but smiling as she moved away from the doorway munching on her popcorn happily.


End file.
